Falling Hard to Earth
by HeysU
Summary: Conan Edogawa/Kudo Shinichi meets Artemis Fowl after a unsolvable robbery in Ireland. Artemis is the Japanese Task Force's host in the foreign country. A group on 9 people leave Japan. Conan, Ran, Sonoko, Kogoro, Meguire, Satou, Takagi, Heiji, and Kaito (was supposed to be Kazuha). Conan and ran have issues. He's almost raped, lots of B.O., etc. Artemis and Kaito are protective. 3
1. Chapter 1

Falling Hard to Earth

"It's been stolen! Sound the alarm; IT'S BEEN STOLEN!" The fools ran around in circles with thier hands in the air. Somewhere in Ireland (NO LOCATION, NO STALKERS), a rare gem was missing. Because it was missing, obviously it's been STOLEN (sarcasm)! This was an unsolvable crime by the Scotland Yard. No fingerprints, countless suspects, and to top it all off: the gem had been stolen from inside a locked room. Feeling overwhelmed, the police force decided to call in the professionals; Japan's Crime left to call while the thief laughed at the stupidity.

Japan: "Hello? This is Inspector Meguire... ah! Yes, what is it that you need? OK... I'll give you a group of 9 people including me. I'll give you the names... Toyama Kazuha, Hattori Heiji, Suzuki Sonoko, Mouri Ran, Miwako Satou, Wataru Takagi, Mouri Kogoro, and Edogawa Conan. Yes... Thank you." Meguire hung up.

Those 9 people all got a phone call from the inspector and later arrived in Ireland.

Ireland: A sign read "Japanese Task Force". The group made their way over. A tanned, old, but lean, man in a dark suit stood by the sign. "Hello. Welcome to Ireland."

Fluent in English, everyone said their hellos as well.

"My young master will be accommodating your stay. Please, follow me to the car." he shivered slightly as he felt eyes on him. That shouldn't have creeped him out. It had happened many times before. He glanced at all the gathered personel until he spotted a small mop of black hair. Looking down, Butler found himself looking into the blue eyes of a boy.

The boy was dressed formally, right down to the bowtie (which was red). Strangely, his suit pants were cut into shorts, and the suit itself was a dark blue.

Shaking his head to clear it, Butler led them to the limosine.

"Wow!" the boy cried. His eyes were wide and his voice hollow with sugar. Butler had never heard a child sound so... unchildish. Except, you know, his boss. "That's a long car, Butler-san!"

The man smiled tentatively. "That's right."

"Don't be a brat, kid!" The irish man's eyes narrowed as a tired and gaunt looking man brought his fist down on top of the boy's head.

"Ow! Uncle Kogoro... that hurt!" The man was Mouri Kogoro, then.

"Dad!" A black-haired girl rushed forward and hugged the boy. "Conan-kun, are you alright?!" The little boy was Edogawa Conan.

"Yes, Ran-neechan." Mouri Ran was the dark-haired girl.

The chunky man wearing a fisherman's hat glared alongside two police uniformed adults. So the woman was Officer Miwako Satou, the other uniformed man was Wataru Takagi, and the fisherman was Inspector Meguire. The last woman/girl who was looking at the scene indifferently must be Suzuki Sonoko.

"Let's get in the car! I can't wait!" Conan smiled (seemingly) excitedly. Ran smiled as she opened the door for the little one.

Butler pushed his evidence of certain actions and identities to the isde as he stepped into the driver's seat.

"Welcome to Fowl Manor," Butler announced with a short flourish to the grounds.

"Wow!" Ran said. "This is even bigger than Shinichi's!"

"Your husband," Sonoko poked.

The butler watched amusedly as the dark haired girl lit up in a blush.

"That's not true!" she screeched. The detectives chuckled as Kogoro irritably muttered to himself.

'Where's the boy... Conan?' suddenly he heard a loud BANG! Butler now had a pretty good idea as to where the unusual child was. He circled the limousine and sure enough found Conan hopping off of the trunk to get his deposited bags. There were two of them. One small suitcase and a knapsack. The little boy ignored everybody (the arguing girls, the laughing police force, the muttering father, and [of course] the butler) and started to head for the large house.

The door opened and revealed Butler's master.

'Boy, would he be surprised!' was the man's cheeky thought.

Conan had opted to ignore the odd but familiar scene. He needed call Haibara and Agasa anyway. He had grabbed his bags and walked toward the manor's door. When he reached it, he sighed. Sighed for his stupidity, sighed for his intelligence, sighed for his messed up life. When sighing, he had closed his eyes, so he hadn't noticed the teenager that was standing there. Conan opened the screen door and reached for the second one while stepping forward... only to meet someone's knee.

Curious, he looked up and met the mixed eyes of the criminal mastermind; Artemis Fowl. One eye was hazel, the other blue. Conan opted to ignore that as well. No use getting in unwanted conversations because of taken offense. "Sorry about that, Oni-tan!" he chirped. Turning away quickly to hide his deadpanned look, he wriggled past Artemis and proceeded into the house.

Noticing the facial expression, "Oni-tan" Artemis nodded. he followed the boy in for a little before saying: "Hey. My name's Artemis Fowl."

The strange kid bowed a bit. "Edogawa Conan, Fowl-san."

Ah... the formalities of the Japanese. How the Fowl heir adored them. "It's nice to meet you, Edogawa-san."

"Likewise, Fowl-san." They nodded at each other.

Kogoro chose to laze in at that moment. Seeing the boy talking to the lord of the house so carefree took the man in his direction. "Brat!" he snapped.

Conan turned, knowing what would happen, but not being able to stop it. The man had obviously been pissed. Nothing would get in the way of Kogoro's target if he was pissed.

"I told you not to get in people's way!" His slammed his fist on top of Conan's head.

The boy had already been feeling unwell, but chose to hide it. He had found that he had a fever in the morning, light was hurting his eyes, there was a pounding in his head that could only be the upcoming migraine, he felt weak, and was in a horrible mood. To hide and ignore it had been a bad decision. Conan collapsed on the floor, unable to move, with a yelp. Now his head heart more. So bad. He faintly heard Artemis call Butler and berate Kogoro. This made him grin, but even hurt.

"Alright, Conan. What's my name?"

"Art-ar-." 'Screw it,' thought the boy. "Fowl."

"Good," the teen whispered soothingly. He put his hand on the foreigner's shoulder. "Where are we?"

'Fowl Man-er." His tongue felt heavy and his voice slurred.

"That's good. You're doing fine. On a scale from 1 to 10, how much pain are you in?"

By now, Conan's whole body felt like it was burning and the pulse had spread everywhere. It hurts so much that he wanted to cry... not that he'd admit it. "F-five."

Artemis looked at the boy clenching his teeth dubiously. He lifted the small child onto his lap and looked into the intelligent blue eyes. "No lying now, Conan. Exactly how much pain are you in?"

"Eight." Knowing the small one was holding back, Artemis just nodded. "Can you describe what's wrong?"

"Head... hurt. Body... ache. Feels... like... burning." Nodding again, the teenaged genius, felt Conan's forehead. He truly felt like he was burning! This was just wonderful! "Butler!" he barked. "Quickly, bring me the first aid kit! When you're done with that, get a washcloth and a bucket of ice water. Put those in my room."

The man rushed away.

Kogoro had disappeared somewhere looking abashed but slightly smug. Bastard.

The other guests were setting up their rooms and had no idea of what had just occurred. For now, Artemis decided just to comfort the poor boy. Seeing the child be hit for no reason made him feel unusually protective. Not having any siblings, he'd never felt this way. It kind of felt good to... care about somebody else than himself. Of course he already did, but not like this.

Butler came back. "Got it, Arty."

"Thanks, Butler." Artemis wrapped Conan's head and looked for other injuries. He found a fractured ankle, but that was it. Sighing in relief, the genius snapped the bone back together and splinted the leg. "Find me his pyjamas please?"

The large man nodded. He rifled through the boy's suitcase. Finding what was needed, he threw it at his young master.

Gratefully, Artemis started to dress the boy. When he was done, he grabbed the boy. "Could you get his suitcase?"

Butler grunted his acknowledgement, grabbed the bags, and followed upstairs to the Fowls' master bedroom.

With his parents on a vacation, Artemis had set his headquarters up there. "Come now, Conan. Let's get you into bed."

His subordinate had never seen Artemis Fowl like this. He was gentle and dare he say caring, but those were the only thoughts that came to mind.

Sleepily, Conan nodded. "Tie-erd."

The teenager chuckled as he tucked the boy into his bed. He dipped the washcloth into the water and laid it on the boy's head.

Conan yelped against his will and tried to pull away from the cold feel.

"Shh..." Artemis soothed. "Just sit still... the cold will pass."

The boy whimpered and struggled a bit, but feeling his limbs start to freeze due to exhaustion, he stopped. He just tried to hold back shivers.

"Good night, Conan. Try to get better."

The boy nodded again. Artemis smiled slightly.

'Yes,' Butler couldn't help thinking. 'This boy will be good for Artemis.'


	2. Chapter 2

He was running. Back home to the Mouri's. Something told him that bad things had happened. It was a tingling feeling all around. If he believed in the supernatural, he might call it an aura. Hitting the stairs of the apartment, he rushed into said place.  
Someone was standing over... "Ran!" Before he could get to his childhood friend, the person grabbed him and pinned his tiny body to the wall.  
He realized the person was Gin of the Black Organization. He would recognize those cold eyes and silver hair anywhere.  
The killer grinned. "Nice to see you, Kudo Shinichi."

"Ahh!" Conan sat up quickly. His chest heaved up and down as his lungs worked to get air in his body.  
Artemis woke up from his chair nearby after hearing the cry. "Breathe, Conan," he soothed. "In and out. That's it."  
Shuddering, the child did as he was told. After a few breaths, he calmed down and withered back into the bed sheets.  
His host felt his forehead and sighed in relief. "You broke your fever. Soon you should be able to move around."  
Exhausted, Conan nodded. "'Kay," he rasped in a small voice.  
"But you are not going near Kogoro or leaving my sight, you got it?"  
The small boy winced, but nodded again at Artemis' tone.

"But Oni-tan," Conan whined, making sure to sound sweet.  
Artemis shivered at the sugary voice. Was this kid bi-polar? (No offense meant to y'all out there.) Like seriously! Sometimes he's an adult and sometimes he was a grade schooler. It was creeping the hell out of him.  
"Please! I wanna' see the crime scene!"  
Artemis sighed, but glared down at his new charge. They'd already talked about this. Mouri was going to be there, and Conan was not going in between a 5 mile radius of the man! "I told you 'no'! I will not tolerate you anywhere near the Mouris!"  
Conan pouted a bit.  
"Like who the fuck hits a child in front of their host anyway?" the Fowl growled to himself.  
Since the day his charge had woke up, he had kicked Mouri Kogoro and his daughter out of the manor. Hating to be separated, Sonoko left as well. The actual police force stayed. They agreed with Artemis that they should put 'The Sleeping Kogoro' on trial for child abuse. This would make him unfit and unable to take care of any children. As a minor, Ran would be in the custody of a relative or sent to an orphanage. This would also tarnish the man's reputation as a detective.  
Conan would be put in the custody of someone else due to his parents' evasiveness. This person so far was no other than Artemis Fowl.  
Nobody objected to the arrangements. Everyone seemed to want the best for Conan.  
Except for the Mouris and Sonoko.  
Sonoko really didn't care, but Ran was as pissed as her father. She had come and yelled at the child for half an hour before someone had noticed and intervened. She went on and on about Conan making her dad look bad. In the end, she left with bruises. Ran had lifted a hand to the child. Conan still had a faint red hand print on his left cheek. Butler had immediately sprung into action, pouncing like a cat on the girl. The two champion fighters faced off. Ran had lost (of course).  
Now Conan's phone was littered with text threats and messages/voice mails from the 3 cast outs. Artemis had eventually called each of them and told them to: "kindly fuck off, jack asses!".  
In this eventful few days, the mini detective had still not seen the place of the theft. (Thanks to a certain 'Young Master'.)  
"Please, Fowl-san?" Conan dropped the kiddy act. "I can't do my job without seeing it myself."  
Artemis sighed. The boy was right, but he still would not let said boy near the fuckers. "Fine, but I am not leaving your side."  
Conan shrugged to his new caretaker. "Don't blame me if you're dead in the morning."

Later that day, Conan and Artemis were eating lunch while watching tv. Artemis ate a tuna fish sandwich and fat free chips. Conan took pleasure in half a sandwich of Nutella* and Salt and Vinegar Lays*.  
His host had noticed the habits of not eating a lot or skipping whole meals. He also noticed Conan's dislike of sweet things was interfering with the body's need for sugar. These things were soon corrected. Artemis took things neutral in taste but high in sugar and made sure to eat with the boy at all times. He had also noticed that the kid liked to ignore very childish things. So, everyday Conan was taken to the park or made to watch a cartoon. Much to the boy's embarrassment, Artemis had even scheduled certain snack times and curfews/bedtimes. Suffice it to say, Conan was rapidly becoming addicted to Nuttela* and liked to swing at the local park. He also was growing used to sleeping at 9:15 and eating 3 snacks a day.  
Right now the two males were watching Looney Tunes*.  
Conan deadpanned. "Is that what the rabbit says all the time?" he asked exasperatedly.  
Noticing the facial expression, the temporary guardian chuckled. "Yah, he always says that. 'What's up Doc?'"  
The boy groaned and threw a pillow at the teenager.  
The police force walked into a foreign sight that made them all crack grins.  
Conan and Artemis were wrestling on the floor and throwing pillows at each other.  
Satou, Takagi, and Meguire just watched for a moment. Finally, Meguire cleared his throat. "Fowl-san, we are ready to leave when you are."  
The play fight ceased as the two boys straightened themselves. Artemis nodded to the officers before playfully ruffling Conan's hair. "After observing the scene I'll have to tire you out, eh? Maybe play some soccer?" He smiled as the younger's eyes brightened. Conan loved soccer.  
"Okay, Fowl-san. Just let me call Haibara before bed."  
Artemis stuck out his hand for the boy to shake. "You got yourself a deal."

Conan was so excited to actually see the crime scene, he had to keep himself from bouncing up and down. 'Damn Fowl and his idea to convert me into an actual kid!' When they arrived, he almost sprinted away.  
Artemis caught him though. "Wait, Conan."  
Huffing slightly, the boy nodded. The Fowl gently set the boy on his feet and patiently waited or everyone else to get out of the limo. Conan was waiting too, until he caught sight of... "Heiji!"  
A tanned, Osakan high-school detective walked leisurely over. "Kudo," he said when he stood directly in front of his friend.  
Conan glared and slowly motioned for the Osakan to bend down. Confused, Hattori Heiji did just that and was at the rager's mercy.  
"What are you doing, you idiot?! Don't shout my name whenever you please!"  
Artemis was immediately by his side. "Excuse me, Conan. Is he disturbing you?"  
"No, Fowl-san. This is my big brother; Heiji."  
He knelt down and whispered incredulously: "Really? He looks nothing like you!"  
Conan snickered. "No, Fowl-san. He's just a really close friend."  
"Hmph." The Fowl stood back up and eyed Heiji before holding out his hand. "Artemis Fowl. Pleased to make your acquaintance."  
The Osakan took it. "Any friend of Ku-!" He jerked back as Consn kicked him in the shins. "...Of Conan's is a friend of mine."  
With narrowed eyes, the observant genius nodded. Heiji and Conan were acting suspicious.  
Meguire came out of the limo next. "Heiji," they hugged like old pals. "It's good to see you., though it's too bad I couldn't reach Shinichi."  
Heiji just smiled as he pulled out of the embrace. "I'm sure Kudo would be here if he could. Even just to see Ran-nechan." Everyone bristled at the name. Heiji narrowed his eyes at the odd reaction. "What did she do?"  
They all explained the situation to him. He was royally pissed ny the end of it.  
Snarling, he grabbed Conan and roughly pull him into a hug. "Dammit, Kudo," he whispered. "Why does trouble always seem to follow you?"  
The child pushed away and stared at his companion. Sorrow filled eyes answered his question. 'I don't know.'  
Artemis took Conan's hand. "C'mon, Conan. We should go see the crime scene."  
"Heiji," a childish voice whined. They all turned to see-.  
"Kudo-kun!" Takagi called.  
"No," the boy pouted. "Why does everybody think I'm him?" He crossed his arms childishly.  
Conan smirked. He could se the subtle differences. "This isn't Shinichi-nichan! You're taller, have a lighter hair color, and you have pretty purple eyes."  
"See?!" The boy flexed his wrist produced a dark blue rose. He tucked it behind the boy's ear. "You're well on your way to becoming a true detective, chibi-tantei."  
"Thank you!" Conan chirped.  
The magician bowed low. "Kuroba Kaito, at your service."  
Conan and Artemis both sweatdropped. Why are magicians so dramatic?


End file.
